Gay sober dating app

Articles

  1. My First Time Being Sober in a Gay Bar
  2. "It's a Little Like Coming Out," a Lesbian Friend Said
  3. Gay, Sober, and Looking to Connect? There's an App for That.

The secret is out -- gay men meeting on these apps and contracting HIV has become a national story due to mounting scientific evidence.

My First Time Being Sober in a Gay Bar

Because the sex often involves drugs and alcohol. So Mann set out to create an app not for sex, not for dating, but for staying sober with other sober people.

The app just rolled out last week for Android and iPhone. Already, there have been 25, downloads. The app does have filters and ways to customize your profile. Many people trying to stay sober often find that access to meetings is a problem. Many people find themselves in Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, only after getting a DUI and losing their license. Sober Grid helps solve that problem. It helps make carpooling easy. That means the user is, well, ready to use, and therefore needs help and support from others. Many users on the app already are posting about how much they love it.

They say the app is a good replacement at times for Facebook, which can be habit-forming in and of itself. Indeed, something related to the drama that causes one to drink or use can roll into their news feed at any time. Sober Grid is about positive memes and posts of encouragement. Chris described it as "standing on the edge of the experience" and feeling like "everyone else is participating in this thing that I'm not.

The easy solution might be to associate only with sober people, but that's not an especially appealing prospect. Over time, I learned it took less and less alcohol for me to sing karaoke or dance or strike up a conversation. I started to realize that without booze I could be more present, that I could face desire nakedly. Full sobriety, it struck me, could be an opportunity to engage socially without a chemical veil—something that seems anathema, if not downright subversive, during Pride.

And Kremwerk turns out to be a perfect place for a test run. My friend Eamon, who is sober, has sent me dozens of invites to see him perform, and now I'm finally here—early enough to have any seat in the house. The social insecurities prompted at the bar fade into the night.

The show is impressive, hilarious—I can't tell if Eamon is more gorgeous in or out of drag.

"It's a Little Like Coming Out," a Lesbian Friend Said

Conversation comes more easily than I'd expected, but it's still nice to have that glass of tonic in my hand, even if it's not actually rearranging my brain chemistry. It's only the next morning that I realize I forgot to tip all evening. The guilt tickles my conscience, but it's not nearly as vicious as on mornings after drinking, when my mind raced through blurred memories, praying desperately I didn't make an utter fool out of myself.

And I got to a point, especially in drag, where it would be so hard to move around a busy bar, I got used to not drinking much. But I really like soda water and bitters.

Gay And Sober?!

I'll have a Red Bull if I'm feeling crazy—or needing to feel crazy, I guess! The people I've reached out to agree it feels great not to need alcohol for a good time.

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Gay, Sober, and Looking to Connect? There's an App for That.

Chris also mentioned how sobriety has made consent a much clearer factor in his sex life. We're all looking to connect better—with ourselves and the people around us—and alcohol, for me, can so easily impede connection: I've been on all sides. That said, I'm not holding myself to a time frame. I've always considered sobriety an absence, or a penance, but I'm not thinking of it that way now. I'm thinking of it as a way to have a clearer head and more energy to fill longer days with more ambitious endeavors.

Queerness has a decorated history of fashioning alternatives to routine, breaking norms.

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I'm not saying sobriety is for everyone, but trying it out for myself has given me confidence, happiness, and much-needed perspective. Queer Issue Jun 21, You might also be interested in these: There's a First Time for Everything Newsletters Sign up for the latest news and to win free tickets to events.